Yesterday was my birthday and tomorrow I decide if I’m moving to Mumbai or New York City. Today it’s the middle of January, and I’m sweating in Miami. I’m now 364 days away from thirty, which feels exactly the same as being 366 days away.
I woke up before my alarm because I wasn’t hung over, a sign that I’m now 29 plus. Mature. It also means I set an alarm for a Saturday morning. A year ago I would’ve hit the snooze button a minimum of 10 times. Not because I was hung over, but because no part of my being wanted to get out of bed.
Back then I was a full time adult with a steady income and serious deadlines. Between then and now I gave it all up to try something new. Something creative. A substantial step back to redefine what’s a step forward. Now I’m a student, which means there is no income, just the deadlines.
So I set the alarm to work on a Saturday because I took Thursday off to go to the beach. But the work feels a lot less like work. There are no bosses, clients or offices. Instead, today I stole internet, drank cheap coffee and I wrote. A lot.
That’s work now, and I’ve learned that doing the work is crucial in this life experiment. If I’m not working I focus on the step back, which depresses me and takes me to something close to regret. Somewhere I don’t want to go. But when I work my mind goes back to the potential step forward. The same feelings that made me take the leap to begin with.
Today felt like a step forward. Even if it was a step closer to thirty. I hope to do it again tomorrow.
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About the author: Pepe Hernandez is too old to grow up and learn Twitter. But he loves to Tumbl.
