In between.
The TSA screening checkpoint yielded a 5 AM disappointment. The opportunity to decline being scanned at the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport did not materialize. There was no groping in full view of my family I am leaving behind. In fact, I was one of only five people in line. Uneventfully, we went through the standard metal detectors. Same old laptops out and shoes off. Turns out, I probably found the shortest line to be in this Black Friday. As the ungodly rush of people storm the stores, I shuffle through the screening beeplessly. Another Thanksgiving successfully navigated. I turn and wave to my family. Tie my shoes on. Wave again. Put my coat on and gather my gear. Turn for my final wave and amble away, pretending that I am brave and do not feel. Only pretend.In reality, I jam my shoes on where the back of the shoe is crunched under my heal. My coat has me twisted in knots. I am not sure that I have my keys. I rush through these motions because I try to end the departure as quickly as possible. To ease the goodbye, the abandonment, the loss. As I board my plane bound to Philadelphia (no one flies direct to Ithaca, NY), I realize I have left many places, people, and parts of me scattered across this country. To each, I thank you. To each, I apologize. Looking out the small iced window that overlooks the wing, flying miles above a frozen land, I catch glimpses of cars creeping along vein like highways. I wonder if they know they are being watched. Or maybe they are catching a slight glimpse of me. Part of me wishes that these tiny travelers are the family, the friends, the loves that I have left behind creeping toward the same destination. But I cannot expect them to come, just as I hope they do not expect me to stay. In the moment, I am thankful for the growth, maturity, and power of change. I am thankful for my past, present, and possible future self. I am thankful for these small glimpses,Potentially shared miles above, Here,In the between.--------
About the Author: Cresten is an Engineering PhD Student, still learning what all three of those words mean, posting his insights on twitter via @MinnesotanMan
